Self-reflection, not diagnosis. Codependency is not an official diagnosis, and this test is awaiting review by a qualified professional. If you feel unsafe in a relationship, contact a domestic abuse helpline or emergency services.
What Codependency Means
The term grew out of work with families affected by alcohol addiction in the 1970s and 1980s, and was popularised by Melody Beattie’s book Codependent No More (1986). Today it describes a pattern where your sense of worth and safety depends on caring for, pleasing or controlling other people, often at your own expense.
It is not a disorder in the DSM-5, and researchers debate how to define it. Still, many people recognise the pattern and find the idea useful.
The Four Patterns
| Pattern | What it looks like |
|---|---|
| Putting others first | Ignoring your own needs, feelings and rest |
| Needing approval | Fearing rejection, feeling worthless unless needed |
| Rescuing and fixing | Taking responsibility for others’ problems and choices |
| Weak boundaries | Saying yes when you mean no, tolerating hurtful behaviour |
How It Is Scored
You rate 16 statements, four for each pattern. Three statements are reversed. Your total appears as a percentage:
| Score | Result |
|---|---|
| 0% to 30% | Balanced caring |
| 31% to 50% | Some codependent patterns |
| 51% to 70% | Marked codependent patterns |
| 71% to 100% | Strong codependent patterns |
The items were written for PrismaTest and are not taken from published measures such as the Spann-Fischer Codependency Scale.
Caring Versus Codependency
| Healthy caring | Codependent caring |
|---|---|
| You help because you choose to | You help because you feel you must |
| You can say no without panic | Saying no brings guilt or fear |
| You let people face their own consequences | You cover for them |
| Your worth is stable | Your worth depends on being needed |
Where It Can Come From
Codependent habits often develop in childhood homes with addiction, illness, unpredictability or emotional neglect, where a child learns to stay safe by keeping others happy. These were sensible survival strategies then; they can be unlearned now.
Steps Towards Balance
- Notice your own feelings before reacting to someone else’s.
- Practise small noes with low-stakes requests.
- Let others own their problems: support, but do not fix.
- Build a life of your own: friends, interests and rest.
- Find support: CoDA meetings, Al-Anon (for families of people who drink) or a therapist.
Frequently Asked Questions
Am I codependent or just kind?
Kindness is a free choice. Codependency feels compulsive and leaves you depleted or resentful.
Can codependency be fixed?
Yes. With awareness, boundary practice and support, many people build healthier relationships.
Is codependency linked to attachment style?
Often. Anxious attachment and codependent patterns frequently overlap.
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For self-reflection only. Not medical advice. See how we build our tests.